5/31/01
Question 108
Dear Preschool
Teacher,
We have a large 2 1/2 - 3 1/2 year old room
we call our "Tot Room." We have one child who is
basically out of control and we do not know what to do with him.
He does not respond to discipline (either negative or positive). If we
reward the other kids for listening, he will literally throw himself
all over the room in a crying fit until he decides he wants to stop.
We have tried showering him with praise for the good things that he
does do,
but then he'll just go and hit someone or knock down their tower, or
anything he can, just to make another child cry. So, we ask him
to be nice, and he'll go into another temper tantrum. If a staff
member tries to stop him, he ends up kicking and hitting them.
We feel like we have tried everything with him. We cannot say
"yes" to everything he wants, but if we say "no," we have to be prepared for a 20 minute tantrum
that disrupts the whole program. By the way, his mother works
for us, too. So asking him to leave the Center is not an option.
Help!
Tired of Tantrums
Dear Tired of Tantrums,
This is a difficult and tiring
situation. We had a similar situation this year, but it was with
a staff's grandson. She felt really bad, and we all felt bad for
her. You may not like this solution, but our teacher ended
putting her grandson in a different school. He is doing much
better since he doesn't have to share grandma, and grandma doesn't
have to feel responsible for his actions at school. It seems he was just too young to
understand. Maybe this would work for you.
Kris
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"
Dear Tired of Tantrums,
Whew! You are in a difficult
situation. It is normal for 2-3 year olds to be difficult.
Have you tried talking to mom about his behavior? You need to know the
why behind the behavior before you can deal with it. But, I would
ignore as much of the negative as possible. If he is hurting
someone else with his tantrums he needs to be isolated for the
tantrums. Maybe the other children could play in another area for the
time it takes
him to finish his tantrum. I would not give in . Choose
your battles carefully. If he can't handle praise either there
may be more to the behavior than just wanting his own way.
He may need to be observed for further diagnosis. I would invite
a psychologist or behavior specialist to observe. They may be
able to give you some advice on dealing with him even if the parent
doesn't want assistance. If his behavior continues to
school age the parents will be forced to deal with it there.
Jackie
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"
Dear Tired of Tantrums,
I had a student like that this
year. He was very immature. He is just now settling down. I used
the method called Solve your own problem. We just stopped and
tried to get him to tell what the problem was and how could we solve
it. It has been a long nine month process. He now can make decisions
without the tantrums. It wore us out (teachers and students).
There were days that we did not teach because of it. But
now I can say it was worth it.
Doris
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"
