11/1/01
Question 136
Dear Preschool
Teacher,
Should a preschool teacher take the
opportunity at the end of each session to tell a parent (in front of
the child) what that child did wrong that day (i.e. doesn't use
listening skills etc.) Isn't this a practice that defeats the child if
done on a day to day basis?
Defeated mom and child
Dear Defeated mom and child,
I do not agree that a teacher
should point out every day what went wrong, unless it is a serious
and/or ongoing problem.
Even then it should not be done in front of the child. The parent
should be given an opportunity to address the issue at home in privacy
with the child and let the teacher know, how they can co-operate.
Especially if a child does a lot "wrong", hyper praise
(praising the child for good things to the parent in front of the
child) is very vital for it encourages "good" behavior much
better than constant put-downs!
I hope this helps!
Heide
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"
Dear Defeated mom and child,
Feed back on how your child is
doing should be a useful constructive tool. If it is done in front of
the child I agree it may be counter productive and demoralizing.
Perhaps you need to take the lead and be pro-active. Get yourself a
notebook and label it "Communication Book" Ask the teachers
in your child's' class to record how your child is doing, the progress
he/she
is making and to share ideas and concerns with you through this book.
I would also ask the teaches to find a time the children are not
around when you might have telephone conferences or meetings to speak
on this topics. I think you must (politely) tell the teachers you wish
to discuss your child
when he/she is not around to hear. Be open and willing to hear
suggestions on ways of handling difficult behaviors. Ask them specific
questions i.e. What do you recommend I do to help with this? By doing
this you are working as a team towards a common goal. Should the
teachers be resistant to this approach I would speak with the Director
of the school.
Preschool is a learning experience for
parents as well as children and a good preschool teacher should know
and understand this .
Good luck!
Laura
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"
Dear Defeated mom and child,
A teacher should be focusing on
what a child did right! This is much more positive for a child
to hear. Teachers can usually find something positive to say.
If a teacher needs to talk to a parent about a situation or behavior,
it should be done when the child is not present. Children need
to be built up ,not cut down. There are nice ways to say some
things too. I say a child is active or busy instead of not sitting
still. Then a parent knows if I say " John had a busy day
today that he probably didn't listen
well but he isn't being hurt by those words. Even a small item
like, "John shared the blocks with Tommy today". is so much
nicer to hear. Children usually want to please the adults in
their lives so say positive things and they will do more of them.
Ask to talk to the teacher privately and tell her how you feel about
being negative everyday. It doesn't mean you don't want to know
if something serious happened. It just means we all like to hear
kind things too.
Jackie
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"
Dear Defeated mom and child,
I have a form that I send home if the child has to be sat in the listening chair and why he had to sit out. If it's something I feel like I need to talk to them in private, I will call them at home. I don't feel like I should be discussing these problems at the end of the class time in front of the child or in front of other parents that may be picking up their children also.
I have children that are disruptive on a daily basis. That is just part of the age of the child and the job of being a teacher. I don't discuss with the parents every little disruptive thing the child did on a particular day. The child has to have done something pretty major or have been warned several times to stop something before I'll put them in the listening chair and send a note home.
Peg
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"
Dear Defeated mom and child,
I would prefer to avoid this situation also. Perhaps you might request a
conference or ask if the teacher could call you to discuss the situation. It
is always better when the parents and teacher are able to work together for
the child. Some parents and teachers use a written log daily, or something
as simple as a smiley face card or sticker, straight mouth face or unhappy
face when a daily report is requested. I would prefer at least one positive
comment also, but it does help the teacher when the parents are knowledgeable
and supportive of the classroom situation.
Kris P
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"
