3/22/02
Question 147
Dear Preschool
Teacher,
My 3 year old son has to go to public
preschool from 8-2. At least twice a week the teacher has to tell me
he is not listening and/or not following directions in class. She told
me today. She sits him right next to her almost all the time. It is a
very structured class. She suggested I structure his home life also. I
don't feel he needs to be structured every waking moment of his life.
I have talked his ears off about listening and following directions,
but I don't think it sinks in. Do you have any suggestions to make him
listen. I am so tired of being "in trouble".
In Trouble
Dear In Trouble,
If she is telling you twice a week that
he is not listening, that is not bad at all!!! He is three! Three year
olds still have quite a bit of trouble with structuring.
Just be sure that you follow through with
reinforcements at home such as rewards for real good behavior and
negative consequences for undesired behavior. You may want to start a
sticker chart at home for a smile for days he behaved well
at school and a sad face for not-so-good days. Decide together what
the reward for a week full of smiles should be!
I am almost thinking his teacher might be
expecting a bit much though. Have you heard what other parents have to
say?
Heide
"Ask The Preschool Teacher
Staff"
Dear In Trouble,
Talking a 3 year old's ear off trying to explain to him things he is doing wrong won't do much good. A 3 year old's attention span is not very long. I have 3 year olds that sit in circle time very well, follow directions well and I never have to say anything to them. I also have 3 year olds who can't sit still and can't follow directions at all. Although this can be very frustrating for the teacher, it is the teacher's job as a preschool teacher to teach the kids how to behave and socialize in school. I don't go the parents with these problems unless he/she has done something terribly wrong because I feel like not listening and not following directions is normal for a lot of 3 year olds.
Peg
"Ask The Preschool Teacher
Staff"
Dear In Trouble,
It is
unrealistic of a teacher to expect a 3 year old to sit for long
periods of time. Structure is not a bad thing but I prefer the use of
routines. Children know what to expect and when to expect it but there
is still flexibility.
Children do not always understand what we
mean when we say listening and following directions. We have to be
very specific when we tell children what we want. They are not able to
follow more than one or two step directions. Their memory is short
too. And their attention span is very short unless they are absorbed
by something. You cannot make a child listen. You have to make it fun
and interesting for them so they want to listen. It sounds like this
class is more than any three year could handle. Some children will
struggle against any authority
figure that wants total compliance. The teacher needs to work out a
compromise with your son. And make learning more fun. Some children
can't sit very long in one place or position.
This is really the teacher's problem, not your son's problem but I
doubt if she will change.
Jackie
"Ask The Preschool Teacher
Staff"
