Ask The Preschool Teacher: Question 90

4/5/01 Question 90

Dear Preschool Teacher,
My mother, (my daughters grandmother) insists in rushing my daughter to learn on stuff that she calls homework. My daughter is in pre-k and my mother gives her HOMEWORK for a 1st grader. I know her intentions are well but I told her that she is going to fast. I see my daughters frustration trying to learn something she doesn't know. Please help me explain to my
mother that this is not good.
Worried Daddy, Pushy Grandmother

Dear Worried Daddy, Pushy Grandmother,
Tell your mom, that your daughter is already in school for part of the day. She also needs some time to be a kid and learn non-academic things such as social interaction, cooking, role-playing, etc. Those are all things she learns without knowing that she is learning. If her teacher at school feels the need for homework, she will send some home. Your mom
does not need to think some up. Later in life your daughter will have enough homework, let her breathe while she can!
Good luck!
Heide
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"

Dear Worried Daddy, Pushy Grandmother,
Try to explain to Grandma that young children love to have "A LITTLE BIT" of homework so that they can be like their older friends, but it should be something very simple and something that she has already covered in detail in school. Then the homework will reinforce what the pre-k teachers has already covered. If that doesn't work, you could maybe enlist your child's pre-k teacher. Sometimes if a non-family members explains something like that they take the suggestions better.
Good Luck.
Lynn
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"

Dear Worried Daddy, Pushy Grandmother,
Try to explain to your mother that a frustrated child will learn to hate school and learning. Learning should be a fun experience at this age. If they become frustrated, they will hate learning and this will become a bad situation for the rest of her time in school.
Emphasize the importance that your daughter should not be frustrated in her learning experience. Also, this is your daughter! If you see something that someone is doing that your don't approve of, it's your job to put a stop to it!
Peg
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"

Dear Worried Daddy, Pushy Grandmother,
I was in your same shoes a couple of years ago. See my oldest daughter is above average. Her Grand-dad loves to teach her extremely difficult stuff. But my youngest daughter is not like her. My dad didn't understand or was hidden by the truth. My youngest daughter was in tears every time my dad started
quizzing her. I finally just had to sit down and tell him he was trying to push her to fast and hard. I told him gently. It sounds like you need to do the same thing. Just sit down and explain. Be truthful. She love you for it in the long run.
Roni
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"

Dear Worried Daddy, Pushy Grandmother,
Talk with your preschool teacher and have her write a letter to you and Grandma about child development. She will learn when she is ready and that things will be tough enough in K and let her be a young child.
Doris
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"

Dear Worried Daddy, Pushy Grandmother,
Explain to your mother that at your daughters age she needs to learn at her own pace. If she continues to push her at this young age she will get so tired of "homework" Besides homework will come soon enough, she needs to be a little girl. If she is pushed into doing work that is beyond her level,
when she gets to that level of study she will be bored and be less progressive. The main thing that your little girl needs to learn at this age is socialization skills and how to be creative on her own.
Steph
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"

Dear Worried Daddy, Pushy Grandmother,
     This is serious. It could affect how your daughter views learning for the rest of her life! Explain to Grandma that children need love and limits, not lessons. She could talk to her about age appropriate material. Buy a good resource book on pushing children too fast and ask your mother to read it. Tell her you need her opinion of it. If she doesn't get the hint, be blunt. Your daughter will feel like a failure because she can't please Grandma. It will cause many emotional scars down the road with her self-esteem. We all need to feel successful when we are learning new things.
     Tell Grandma to look for age recommendations on books she purchases and then look through it. Pre-K children should be learning colors, shapes, how to write their name, how to dress themselves, how to count from 1-20. Maybe the alphabet if she's ready. Stay away from workbooks. Buy crayons
and plain paper. Play with play dough, cut with scissors, and paint with watercolors. These will help strengthen her small muscles. Take walks and talk. Help her notice what is around her. This will sharpen her observation skills. You can keep her busy and learning without "homework".
      Don't be afraid to stand up for your child. Her future is in your hands!
Jackie
"Ask The Preschool Teacher Staff"