3/22/02 Question 21

Dear Visitors,
      I teach toddlers in a preschool. One child in specific who is only 28 months old is using the f-word throughout the day. He also uses it at home. We have tried to ignore this but it has only increased. Sometimes he uses it appropriately when angry, but other times while he is playing independently. Please help with any suggestions on this. We don't think he clearly understands exactly what he is doing wrong. HELP before the others mimic these swear words.
Stop The Swearin'

Dear Stop The Swearin',
     At 28 months old, the fword can be mistaken for a lot of other words. My son was unable to say sucking candy, he used the f instead of s so everyone thought it was "cute". I'm not saying that the child isn't saying the fword and uses it at home, but you can use the "mistaken" f  and after he uses the word, you respond with "sucking candy" "okay" as if you did not hear or understand or be shocked by what he said.
He probably is doing it for the shock value. Once he says "sucking candy" reinforce that statement with a possible candy of some sort. Definitely not a sucking candy, too dangerous. Keep it up it will take a while till he makes this transformation and realizes that "sucking" pronounced exactly that way will get him a reward. In a while he may begin to just ask for the sucking candy himself correctly but you will have to wean him slowly off the reinforcment. Until the work is extinct, what do you have to loose by trying. If it doesn't work after 2 weeks, give it a little time. He probably is saying the word for longer than that! 
Marcia

Dear Stop The Swearin',
     This is obviously a word that the child hears frequently at home. He is just repeating what he is being taught. In addition to bringing it to his attention when he uses the word, the parents need to be alerted and made to understand just what they are teaching. They need to be retrained as well. If they take it seriously and work on the problem at home while you are working on it, progress will be made. If the problem persists, the other toddlers will be saying the same thing. So the parents need to be told as well that if the problem continues the child may possible not be allowed to continue.
Margaret

Dear Stop The Swearin',
     I would substitute the bad word for a another word.  if it happens too much you can take some thing away that the child likes. Keep talking to parents about this problem. They need to know all the time. I had a situation like this . I told the parents, they found out that older brothers were saying these words. Parents went to sons, and child was put in time out for using bad words. this worked. 
Good luck!
Val

Dear Stop The Swearin',
      I am a pre-school teacher also and know how those words can slip.  Maybe try to distract him after he says it by covering up with another word that rhymes.  If it continues on, I would talk to the parents.  It is probably a phase and will pass, but until then I would play gentle music during centers to try and soothe his moments of outbursts.  Puppets are wonderful and can encourage happy interactions among children.  Even if you have to get them out a few days in a row.  He may then forget!
Holly Wilkinson   Owner/ Teacher of Beary Creative Pre-School for ten years!

Dear Stop The Swearin',
     When one of my 'fallen' angels uses a word that isn't 'appropriate' I repeat a similar sounding word that is 'appropriate' after every use of the word, so that the child thinks that he is not pouncing the word correctly, and will pick up the new word instead.

child "f#*&%"
me "yes, TRuck"

child "f#*&%"
me "yes, TRuck"

through the day, it also helps other children to see that the word SHOULD be TRuck..
Katherine,  mom of 5

Dear Stop The Swearin',
     I don't know if this would work or not.  I work with 3-5 year olds that love using that word.  I usually praise the children that aren't using that word and ignore the one who is.  They don't understand that word and have to be hearing it from somewhere.  We also have our older children take it to the toilet and when they are tired of  saying it then we flush it away.  They usually look for a reaction when they say the word and if they don't get one from an adult is isn't as fun. 
Julie

Dear Stop The Swearin',
     Ignoring this language was a great start but now it may be time to say "this word is not ok in our class ".Model your disapproval in front of the other children and make sure the swearer is given other words to use to express his feelings. Remember young children need to hear things over and over before it become real. 
An Old Teacher

Dear Stop The Swearin',
     I have had this problem.  I kept saying to the children truck.  After a while he was saying truck then whenever he said truck I showed him a truck.  Eventually he stopped saying the bad word.
Anonymous

Dear Stop The Swearin',
     As to your question regarding the expletives a certain child is using, does this child say the words indiscriminately, during play, without realizing he/she is even saying it? Are the words accompanied by facial ticks or slight head movements? It may be the onset of Torettes disease. It sounds scary, but as a special ed. teacher, there are so many varying degrees to this disease and in most cases, it is controlled by medication until it subsides with time and age. I'd like to think that the child may not as you say, have control or knowledge of the words. Just a thought.
Marcia

Dear Stop The Swearin',
     Hi, in response to the child who is saying the f word continually, I think it is important to find out where he is hearing such words, trying to then eliminate that influence in his life. I think children are not given enough credit for their capability of understanding. At 28 months he does not need to really understand why it shouldn't be said. I think just by constantly reinforcing that it is not a good word we don't say that word, with an endearing yet firm tone it will get across. Good luck,
Sincerely,
Just Another Mom